Something Michael said the other day stuck with me and got me thinking as I cleaned toilets this morning. "I'm glad I have time to do this now," he said. He was referring to building with his LEGO and playing by himself with the various toys in his room that he generally doesn't have much time for during the school year. I'm glad I have time to do this now.
Moving to wiping down the counters I thought about how I've been asked too many times to count, "What are your kids doing this summer?" After this question, the right answer is to list the different camps that the children will be dropped off to enjoy various enrichment experiences. But the truth is, other than vacation bible school (where I volunteer), I didn't sign them up. For anything. We don't even belong to "the pool." So what the heck are we going to do all summer?Admittedly, I'm coming from a place of privilege. Our family work situation allows me to be home with the kids all summer. I'm fully aware of the fact that not everyone can or wants to do this and count myself lucky. We own a pop up camper so we hit the road for long weekends pretty often. The kids and I go to amazing (and inexpensive) children's theater about once a week. We will go to a few free events at the park. However, there are days with nothing at all on the calendar. I like it that way.
In addition to not doing "camps," another thing I am NOT doing? Charts. Any kind of chart, workbook, time keeper, etc. And I will not feel bad about this! Those things are more work for ME than anyone else. There will be no recording of minutes read, no tracking of tablet time, no required number of workbook pages, none of that. After a few years of doing some small combination of those things (that I'd completely abandon after a week or two) I started thinking- WHY? And what messages does it send the kids when I decide that some activities are more desirable than others, some activities are considered WORK, and some are considered time wasters and should be limited. Is reading work? Should there be a time minimum imposed? Are all games on the tablet time wasters? This is just too damn much thinking for me. The kids seem to respond just fine to me saying, "Hey, haven't you melted your brain enough for today?" Honestly, I think the kids have come to enjoy reading and writing for their own enjoyment because it's valued and not something to do to earn a reward.But some work needs to get done, right? Take today for example. The car is being inspected so we are home for the day. The kids get up and are watching Magic's Biggest Secrets Revealed (amazing show) for the third time. After breakfast I say, "Hey kids, in a bit I think it might be time to give the TV a rest and do a bit of clean up in your rooms." The TV was turned off and the kids went up while I worked on the bathrooms. About 15 minutes into the clean up Mike says, "Mom, I just found this drone that Uncle Chris gave me for my birthday. Should I try it outside?" So I say, "Yeah, sure- Erin, why don't you take a break too and go see the drone outside." Because enough clean up got done and we can get back to it later, no big hurry. I'm glad we have time to do this now.
This summer feels short. I missed my kids so much while they were both in school full time this year. While they are both young and still seem to like me, I want to be with them. Another thing I keep telling myself (thanks to Mike's reminder) is that they worked hard at school this year and they need a break. These 10 and 6 year olds worked full time jobs. They want some time in their own home just playing with toys, or reading their books, or (yes) playing on the tablet. They need a break.
As a person who gladly over-volunteers for just about anything and everything, I'm tired too. I'm tired of schedules, papers from school, packing lunches, remembering things, and all that stuff we just did from Sept- June. Why would I want to do that all summer?! SO I'm not going to feel guilty about lazing around a bit, letting the chores slide, or reading a book instead of making dinner. I'm going to take a cue from my kids and be glad I have time to do this now.
